the pomegranate tiger

Just a quick hello and update. This post is in response to Donny, who emailed me about not updating my blog lately. Things have been hectic here. I'm leaving for the airport in a couple of hours and won't be back for a bit, but decided I could make a quick post. So this one's for you, ds. The roof is done! Things got cleaned up nicely and the windows . . . well, who knows? I had planned and started a whole blog about a quote I saw on one of the message forums I go to. It was a signature for one of the members and it read: "A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age." It's part of the lyrics for a Meat Loaf song. Within the context of the song it makes sense in the rock 'n roll, don't give a dam, live life to the max kind of way. But the quote bothers me in the context in which I found it. Notably, it's being used as a signature by an older person and someone whose screen name is "Grandma". That really...

Well, the roof looks like it might get finished by this weekend. It's taken them over two weeks, but hey, I'm going to have a new roof. Right? As for the windows, they tell me the "expected date for completion of manufacturing" is November 20th. In other words,they're not made yet and we'll be lucky to get them installed by Christmas. You know the picture of the empty dumpster in my last post? It's now full and they're not even finished. It's so full, I have no idea how they think they're going to move it without half of it falling out. I have visions of tiling, woodchips and debris trailing from our driveway all the way to the city dump. Take a look . . . Oh well, I'm not going to let any of it bother me because we'll be leaving on our European adventure in less than two weeks. Despite the on and off hammering, thudding and cursing (by the roofers, not me), I've been happily busy finalizing our travel plans and scrambling ...

To update: This morning when the roofers hadn't arrived by 9:30 am, DH called their office. No answer, so called their cell number. Apparently, they are running behind (well, yeah!) and won't be able to start yet. So, when can they start? Not until next Tuesday at the earliest! That's another five days from now. Meanwhile, we have this huge dumpster sitting in our driveway, blocking the garage and there are piles of roofing materials on the front lawn. I'm sure the neighbours are very happy. It would have been nice if they'd at least called to say they were delayed. Is that asking too much?

At 10:00 am: "How's it going? Have they started yet?" asks dh on the phone. "No." "Well, they didn't say exactly when they'd come, did they?" "No, I guess not. But they did say today, right?" "That's what they said." 12:30 pm "How're they doing?" "They're not here yet." "Maybe they had problems finishing the job from yesterday," says dh in a most understanding way. "Maybe." 3:30 pm: "How's it going?" "It's not." "Oh," says dh, knowing not to ask any further. "I don't think they're coming today." . . . . And that, ladies and gentlemen, has been my day. Well, that, and receiving delivery of my son's new computer, getting an anticipated order from Land's End, doing a couple loads of laundry, revising a set of financial statements, and updating my x365 blog – but all only coincidental to my waiting for...

Am I nuts? No. Don't answer that. Some blogs back , I mentioned that we (me and hubby) were planning a trip to Europe. Well, barring any catastrophes (knock wood), it looks like a 'go' for early November. Final payments have been made and I'm still researching like crazy what we want to see and how we're going to see everything we want to see. Given the limited time available to us, we decided on a 12 day cruise that will go to Italy (Rome & Naples), Greece (Athens & Mykonos), Turkey (Istanbul & Ephesus) and Egypt (Port Said & Alexandria). We'll be staying four days in Rome and taking an overnight trip to Cairo. We'll be gone a total of eighteen days. As you can imagine, this has been keeping me very happily pre-occupied. As you can also imagine, it's not going to be cheap. We thought long and hard about this and decided it's something we need to do now (see above-linked post). So guess what I've done? I've scheduled our roof...

Yep, I'm back. Not that I was all that anxious to come back, but bills needed paying, chores doing. The usual responsibilities. So here I am. I've actually been home for over a week and it's taken me awhile to surf around to all my usual haunts and post the odd comment here and there. It's nice to come back to familiar names and personalities, but I did need to get away for a bit. Too much of the same thing tends to make me irritable. Not sure exactly why. For as long as I can remember, I've felt this way. I dislike (not quite hate) monotonous routine. I guess I need the stimulation of meeting each new day with some degree of enthusiasm -- the feeling that things may or may not happen in any given order; that things I never expected to happen might happen; that there will be new ideas and challenges to be faced. Some routine is okay and necessary to get through mundane chores. But if I had to do the same thing day after day by rote, I might go insane. In my teens, I...

I sometimes stress over the fact I'm not disciplined enough to post a daily blog, but I've come to terms with it -- sort of – by putting it in the, 'Oh well, there are more important things to worry about' category. So, here's my official statement that I’m not going to feel guilty about it anymore. Summer's almost over. Maybe not officially by the calendar, but it always seems like the end of summer when the school year looms just the other side of Labour Day. School supplies have taken over the front half of my local Shoppers Drug Mart and sales flyers about 'back to school' clothes arrive in my mailbox daily. There's a damp nip to the early morning and the sun has taken on that oblique-not-quite-hot-enough angle. I'm a summer person and usually sorry to see the end of summer. But this year, I'm extending it by going off for a few weeks to warmer climes. I'm going to read, write, snorkel, eat properly, get enough exercise, and w...

While catching up on Ronni Bennett's, Time Goes By , I was caught by her following comment: When, years ago, I first ran across E.M. Forster’s line, “How do I know what I think until I see what I say,” it was an instance of "I’ve always known that, why didn’t I know that "before." I write to figure out what I think about things and it is astonishing how many times I start a blog post and wind up in an entirely different place at the end than I thought I intended. Writing is a joy for me because it organizes my thoughts, forces me toward clarity and often leads to discovering what I didn’t know before. It's precisely how I feel about blogging. It's not so much that I haven't previously had the thoughts before I set out blogging about them. It's just that when I write them down, it helps me explore, clarify and crystallize some of the muddy areas that have been swooshing and swirling around in my head. Occasionally, I even get a eureka moment. I don...

My blog has become more and more like me. Some may think I have an identity crisis – but really, I don't. This is me, in all my messy, cluttered (gory) glory. I looked back at my original opening blog and realize I still don't have a specific direction, but it's been fun exploring the possibilities. What I can say for certain is that all my blogs are reflective of my eclectic, scattered tastes and passions and blogging has allowed me to express them in a way I never thought possible. Lately, I've been reluctant to post certain things. Silly, I know, but true nonetheless. I realize that different readers come back expecting more of the same whatever it was that prompted them to bookmark me in the first place. I fear that when they come back and see that I've followed one of my philosophical musings with a political rant or writing exercise, they may be a bit bewildered. Perhaps my fears are unjustified and I'm giving myself way more credit than I des...

Age is a state of mind, so I’m told. I feel like I'm anything from thirty-something to been-around-forever. Mostly, I don't think about my age until my body doesn't work the way it used to or some young thing looks at me blankly when I mention something that, to me, happened only yesterday. My mind says I’m a smooth-skinned, long-legged babe Turning heads when stars align. Vibrant, fun and full of life. Sometimes silly, giddy, weird. Blank stares tell me otherwise. Invisible to all except fellow invisibles And those who love me now or Knew me when-then. Amazing how well grey hair Works as an invisibility cloak.

I need to remind myself why it's worthwhile to stay positive.

Well, it's been a mighty interesting couple of weeks. I've vacillated between anger and depression so many times that I feared a self-inflicted case of whiplash. Not long after I posted my blogs about idealism and the World Peace Forum, the relative calm in the Middle East literally exploded. The irony wasn't lost on me. I started a number of posts to address the current middle east situation, all of which ended up in my discard/reconsider folder because they made me sound like a ranting lunatic. In effect, they were the equivalent of a hair-ripping, teeth-gnashing, primal scream. Something along the lines of, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!" Just an excerpt from one of the non-published posts: "I'm sick of the political rhetoric. I'm sick of the ineffective UN. I'm sick of apologists for all sides. I'm sick of any ideology, political system, country, or religion that uses violence and killing of innocent civilians as a means to achieve the...

This is a writing prompt from Diana at First Drafts. I think it started out as a meme. It's a bit trickier than it first appears, especially for those of us who suffer from "too-many-words-itis". The challenge is to use only one word to respond to the question/statement. Give it a try and share it with us. Here are mine. · Yourself: thoughtful · Your partner: kind · Your hair: silver · Your Mother: unknown · Your Father: unfulfilled · Your Favourite Item: cherished · Your dream last night: curious · Your Favourite Drink: wine · Your Dream Home: cozy · The Room You Are In: cluttered · Your fear: uselessness · Where you Want to be in Ten Years? alive · Who you hung out with last night: family · What You're Not: simple · Your Best Friends: understanding · One of Your Wish List Items: peace · Your Gender: resilient · The Last Thing You Did: write · What You Are Wearing: comfortable · Your favourite weather: balmy · ...

In the last couple of weeks, you may have noticed that I've posted links to the World Urban Forum and the World Peace Forum in Vancouver. I like to keep in touch with these things in my effort to stay informed and view the world in more of a global sense. It's too easy to get caught up with the mundanities of our personal lives and forget about the bigger picture. There's nothing wrong in being engaged with our immediate surroundings -- it's a necessity. But I think we need to strike a balance between what's going on here and what's going on out there in the broader world. I know some people roll their eyes when they read or hear about peace conferences, rallies or anything that smacks of activism and idealism. It seems "activism" and "idealism" has fallen into disfavour. Not exactly bad words, but viewed similarly to feminism – seen as unnecessary, irrelevant, a purview of the radical fringe these days. Most distressing is that so...

As well as the World Peace Forum this week (June 23 – 28), Vancouver just finished hosting the UN's World Urban Forum III (June 19 – 23, 2006). About World Urban Forum The World Urban Forum was established by the United Nations to examine one of the most pressing issues facing the world today: rapid urbanisation and its impact on communities, cities, economies and policies. It is projected that in the next fifty years, two-thirds of humanity will be living in towns and cities. Today, I just want to share a few quotes from a speech by John Friedmann. Friedmann is a professor at the University of British Columbia, School of Community and Regional Planning. He talks about "clusters" of assets that are necessary for the development of viable and sustainable city-regions throughout the world. I thought what he had to say about intellectual and creative assets would be of interest to some of the regular readers here as well as those who question why we should support creati...

As some of you know, I can get a wee bit obsessive. This is particularly true of new interests. My interest is piqued very, very easily. You say there's an awesome, new website? I'll be there – for hours – looking at every nook and cranny. Got links? I'll click them. Is there a site meter? I'll wonder what type and if I can access the stats. An About page? Gotta read it. So, if you've wondered where I've been lately, I've been researching my latest obsession. DH and I are thinking about a trip to Europe in the fall. We've always planned on going there - eventually. But so far, life and family commitments have gotten in the way. I suppose we should have gone when we lived in Toronto, before kids, and where the time and travel distance wouldn't have been so great. But, we were interested in other things back then. All of which seem superficial and frivolous now. But hindsight's kind of a bitch that way. Anyways, we put Europe on the backburner and ...

World Peace Forum 2006 - Vancouver, Canada, June 23 - 28 Be informed. Read. Look beyond the confines of your own borders. We all live on the same planet. There will always be conflict and problems, but we have the choice to help make things better or worse. We have the choice to care or to ignore the suffering of others. It's possible to make a difference. You just need to care enough to take action, no matter how big or small.

It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err. - Mahatma Gandhi I read the above quote on Moto’s discussion forum and couldn't agree more. Somebody once told me he thought I was wise. I don’t want to be called wise. It’s too much responsibility. I don’t want people to think I have all the answers. I don’t want people to think that just because I write down my beliefs on this blog that I think I’m wise. If anything, my constant introspection and sharing of experiences reminds me of some of my greatest follies. All I have are life experiences that I’m willing to share with whomever might want to listen. I think my grandfather was wise -- though he likely would have disputed it. He lived into his nineties – a long and varied life; immigrating to Canada at the age of eighteen, teaching himself to read and write English, living through the BC gold rush, the building of the BC railroa...

I often feel in awe of the wonderful bloggers out there. The clarity, honesty and excellence of their words make me feel totally inadequate. I think, how did she do that; how did she make me laugh so hard, cry, get angry, rethink my position? So here are just a few thoughts about some of my favourite blog writers. I won’t name names, so you can all imagine that I’m talking about you – because I am: - A's individual blogs are precise photo captions. You wonder how she can capture the essence of how you feel in her words. Each picture-phrase is a vivid snapshot. It’s like watching a kaleidoscopic slideshow, never knowing what’s coming next, but with the assurance that it’s going to be insightful or funny – and definitely wonderful. - B's words flow in an unending stream of colourful descriptors and run-on sentences. The funny thing is that her run-on sentences don’t seem run-on at all. Phrases and descriptions ripple along, sometimes gently, sometimes caught in an e...

At eighteen, I thought I had things figured out. In reality, I was clueless. My plan was to go to university, graduate with a degree in nursing, then spend the next few years working on the S.S. HOPE, a peacetime hospital ship that brought healthcare and education programs to countries around the world. Little did I know it would make its last voyage the year I graduated. It ends up it didn't really matter. I met my husband-to-be while in university and we married the year I graduated. Since then, my life has taken all sorts of twists and turns. I’m a romantic idealist at heart, but I’m pragmatic when it comes to everyday life. I tend to carry on, no matter what happens. I figure, there’s not much choice – sit and mope - or live life. Yet, it would’ve been helpful to know at a younger age that there’s no such thing as life going according to “plan”. Life is messy. I think it’s a disservice to young people (to me, young is anyone under 30) when we give them the illusion they can p...

For our recent vacation, my husband and I took a cruise. You can do as little or as much as you like and it's one of the most relaxing types of vacations I've been on - a great place for a people-watcher like me. I love dancing and watching others dance – all forms of dance - ballet, jazz, ballroom, it doesn’t matter. As long as there’s music and movement, I’ll watch. So while on this vacation, I mostly watched the sixty-plus crowd dance. Why this age group? Because they can really dance. Almost every night and on every special occasion, they’d be the first on the dance floor. They did it all: foxtrot, cha-cha, rumba, salsa, waltz, jive. They did it with verve, enthusiasm and energy – especially the jive. I was in awe. All these grey-haired seniors dancing and boogying as if they were still in high school. Then it occurred to me – they’re probably the last generation who really learned “how” to dance as a matter of course when they were young. I grew up in the fifties and sixti...

Well it's been over a month since I last posted a blog! I didn't think I'd be away this long. I was on the verge of posting a few times. One of them started out like this: I'm not in a good mood. I'm tired –- Drop-off-the-face-of-the-earth and sleep 72 hours tired. I'm tired of reading/hearing opinions of overly pompous literary critics, self-professed, angst-ridden neurotic artistes and egotistical, pseudo-intellectual blowhards who think others are stupid just because they don't agree with their enlightened opinions . . . You can see why I decided not to post for awhile. I was tired from working 12 to 14 hour days for 15 days straight. It was the kind of tired that makes me very, very irritable – a can't see the end of it, what's the fricking use kind of tired; a don't you dare walk in my shadow, can't you see I'm tired, get out of my way or I'll rip your head off and feed it to the garbage disposal kind of tired. Soooo, I thought...

I feel the need to write something on this blog, but fear I'm stretching myself a bit thin. Today, I added to my 365 list, made an entry on First Drafts , and wrote a bit offline. So now I feel wrung out of ideas for anything here. Thus, I'm going to do a Wenda - just start writing and see what comes out. (I rather like the verbing of Wenda. I hope she doesn't mind.) I've used this technique of hers a few times now and it works pretty well. I'm heading into the busiest two weeks of my year and may not get much chance to blog in the next while, so I may as well sit here and write whatever comes out my fingers. Reading other blogs is inspirational. From the mundane to the insightful, the serious to the humorous, I spend hours reading other blogs. I came across a professional (i.e. published) writer's blog site today. She mentioned something I'd heard from another writer on a different forum. She wondered if people who came across her blog would get t...

This is inspired by Cate's post at The Bean Counter and the Dr. Seuss-like comment by Andrea . So you say you like to write Or maybe paint or knit a kite. If no one watched or even cared Would you, could you even dare? What if no one saw the kite? What if all was done at night? What if all was said and done And no one knew? Not even one. Would you still have what it takes To do that thing That makes you wake? I don't know What you would say, But I would do it anyway. I would do it late at night, Far from friends and out of sight. I would do it in a car Looking up at the night stars. I would do it in a tree. I would do it Just for free. Not only that, 'Cause that's too pat, But I would do it just to see If I could find What makes me, me. Sorry, Andrea, I just couldn't resist the "park, lark comment". :-D

Languishing, languorous (love those words so thought I'd use them) are words to describe my poor personal website - not this blog, mind you, but the site I have on Geocities. For those of you who've joined this show in progress, I'll re-cap: Over the years, I kept track of books I read in notebooks, spreadsheets, loose-leaf duo-tangs – anything that was handy. One day, I got the brilliant idea that I could start a little website dedicated to my reading. I'd keep track of books I'd read, maybe add comments and reviews. In May 2000, I started my personal website, unoriginally named, Ell's Book Page - a built-from-scratch site dedicated to books and my reading. Simple enough concept. But, as it turns out, not simple at all. First, I tried using Geocities' ready-made templates with their 'wizard'. But it kept doing weird things with the formatting. So I thought, "Aha! I need to learn some html" (so I could see what was wrong and fi...

Writing prompt from First Drafts My father used to hold my hand. Don't believe me? I can prove it. I have a picture. See, here. I'm wearing my red velvet, special holiday dress. I'm smiling, so is he, my right hand in his left. He's quite handsome, don't you think? I used to think I was ugly, but looking at the picture now, I can see why people said I was a cute kid. I don't remember when it was taken. It looks like at an office Christmas party or something. See the door and window? Looks like Christmas cards on the ledge. We're all dressed up, so it must have been a special occasion. Funny, I remember the dress, but not the occasion. It's the only one I have of me and him, at least from childhood. We didn't spend much time together back then. But maybe I'm remembering it all wrong. I didn't remember the picture-taking, did I? Maybe we did lots of things together and I just don't remember. Anyways, I'm glad I have this picture.

I need to get more organized, I need to get more organized – so goes my mantra. But really, I do. Not in the general sense of housekeeping and tidying (though that needs addressing too), but specifically with my document files. Several blogs ago, I alluded to having bits and pieces of writing in various files on my hard drive. At the time, I had no idea the state of disarray, bordering on chaos, these files were in -- until I tried to find something I wanted to resurrect. I had one of those middle-of-the-night, astoundingly, brilliant ideas to add onto one of my older pieces. I jotted it down on an index card. First thing in the morning, I eagerly went to my computer to add this particularly illuminating insight to, to, to . . . What did I name that file? Do you think I could find it? Nope. I searched in all the usual places, but no luck. Maybe it was just an imaginary file, one I thought up while brushing my teeth, but never got around to actually committing to bits and byt...

I found Ronni Bennett's blog, Time Goes By , shortly after I started my own blogging journey. I was immediately captivated by both the clarity of her writing and by the depth of her posts. She is insightful and humorous, and more often than not, leaves me with a jump-up-with-fist-in-the-air, "YES!" feeling. She writes about what it's like being older in our (western) society and examines the biases and issues surrounding aging. From her blog site bio , she states: In my private hours now – age 63 at this writing – I am excited about exploring what getting older is really like. There is precious little information available in popular writing that is not negatively focused on disease, debility and decline. But I don’t believe getting older could possibly be as bad as our culture makes it out to be. Lest you think it's a whiny blog about issues only related to aging, let me say that she looks at the broad spectrum of society from politics, to healthcare to almo...

Wenda at Daring to Write got me thinking about personal demons. I realize that the older I get, the fewer my demons. At least it seems so. The demons of my youth are no longer the sweaty-nightmare inducing creatures they once were. Perhaps it's my perception of them that's changed. Things I thought were earth-shatteringly important in my twenties and thirties barely register a blip on my concern meter now. The related demons have, likewise, faded in importance. I'm not saying they're completely gone. Some are like pesky salesmen. Every so often, they knock on my door to see if I'll buy into their pitch. I get rid of them with a firm, "no thanks" and refuse to let them in the house for coffee. Sometimes, I have to slam the door in their face. Others are like co-workers you don't particularly like. I concede grudging co-existence for the sake of everyone's sanity, but it's never a completely comfortable relationship. They're sl...

I was going to blog about how I hate shopping and how I don't get the whole shopping as retail therapy thing, but this came across my path and I got sidetracked. Nothing new there! And besides, I rather like the idea of going from the serious thoughts of my previous few blogs to something completely frivolous and inane. Results of some Blogthings questionnaires. They're more accurate than I thought they'd be: Your Hidden Talent Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people. You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together. Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly. People crave your praise and complements. What's Your Hidden Talent? Your Brain's Pattern Your brain is always looking for the connections in life. You always amaze your friends by figuring out things first. You're also good at connecting people - and often play match maker. You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or wh...

I have a confession to make. I make a lousy good friend. Other than my husband and family, I don't do friendship well. I'm good at meeting people, making others feel comfortable and having conversations with them, but they seldom become good friends. I have what I'd call lots of friends and acquaintances, but very few are close friends. I know some people who are constantly surrounded by good friends. They hang out, go for coffee, they call each other on the phone and chat. They talk to each other about all the important things that go on in their lives. They laugh together and cry together. I'm not good at that. In my lifetime, I can probably count maybe three people (excluding my husband) who fall into this category of friendship. I don't know what it is exactly, but I keep most people at arms-length. They get only so close, before I think, nope, that's close enough. If I were to get really analytical, in a pseudo-psychological sense, it probably ha...

Sometimes I feel I have so many things rattling around in my head that everyone around me can hear it. Stuff just clunking and thunking around like bumper cars, one thought setting off a chain reaction of others, back and forth till they hit some invisible barrier and then come bouncing back again. Occasionally a thought will jump the barrier and demand recognition. I'm always a little amazed at this. When I was young I'd play a little game of trying to track back my thought processes. Like - how did I end up thinking about bumper cars when on my way to the library? Let's see . . . I was thinking about whether or not to renew the latest Sue Barton Nurse book; then I thought about being a nurse; then I thought about sick people; then I thought about puking - makes me gag thinking about it; then I thought about the last time I was at the PNE and rode the Tilt-A-Whirl; then I thought about the Roller Coaster; scary, but not that bad; Bob didn't think I'd do it; ...

After some thought and encouragement from her reader's, brain bubbles has decided to re-post her deleted blogs. I'm so glad she's doing this. I still find it disheartening that people were upset with what she wrote. If they can't handle bb's darker life story, it makes me wonder if they live the rest of their own lives with head buried in sand. Cheers to bb!

I'm using this entry as a little rant to do my part in getting brain bubbles to resurrect her x365 blog. If you go to the link above, you'll see that she deleted her blog. I was incensed to find out why. She's done so, in response to some very small-minded people who can't handle a bit of truth. She's had ugliness in her life and, in doing the x365 project, ended up blogging about some not very nice people in it. It wasn't always pretty, but it's her story . She received emails telling her it wasn't appropriate for the x365 challenge. To me, it's exactly what's so great about the x365 and what it can and should be - a way to remember our connections with the different people in our lives, past and present. In recalling the people in our lives that impacted us, influenced us, and continue to influence us, it helps us understand who we are and how we got to where we are today Sometimes the recollections are warm and funny, sometimes sad an...

I’ve been unmotivated, uninspired and in a funk for the last two weeks – the reason I haven’t posted anything recently. During this time, I’ve stopped and started several bits of writing, only getting a couple hundred words out before abandoning them. There are at least twenty of these files. I guess I’ll keep them on my hard drive along with all my other bits and pieces in hopes of being newly inspired at a later date. A new discussion forum: About a week ago, I signed up for a new discussion forum. It’s a spin-off from another board I visit. The original board doesn’t allow discussion of politics and religion and has a very specific focus. A valid and personal choice by the admin there. The admin of the New Board is trying an experiment of sorts. His stated goal is to see if an ‘anything-goes’ board with few rules and minimal moderation that discusses politics, religion and whatever else the membership comes up with can survive without things ending in chaos and acrimony. ...